Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Christmas is Here!!

Well, almost. But judging from the toy aisle at Target, you would think it is tomorrow. I went in hopes of finding (another) princess phone for Holly for Christmas and do you believe I got the LAST one, at least at this Target. It was such a fun trip b/c I could feel the Christmas shopping fever but I wasn't stressed at all b/c I am pretty much finished shopping and was basically just browsing and hanging out in my favorite place. I do have to go by the "Cars" aisle every time to check if they new cars, which always brings a tear to my eye but also brings back some very happy Joseph memories.

The last couple of weeks have been really tough for me. I seem to go through phases where I feel like I'm fine followed by a period of intense sadness and missing him so much. I miss his energy and cheerfulness and passion for life, but I also just miss parenting him and taking care of him and watching him interact with Holly, taking on the role of older brother. And I'm sad for Holly that she won't have him looking out for her as she grows up.

We went to Atlanta this past weekend for my friend Beth's baby shower. We are so excited for them as they anticipate the arrival of their 3rd son in just a few weeks. Holly and Logan had so much fun playing together and it warmed my heart to see her racing around the house with cars and trucks again. It was my first time being back in Atlanta since last April and it was every bit as hard as I thought it would be. I was so nervous about going back that I thought, "It has to be easier than I'm imagining," but really it wasn't. Every part of that place holds so many memories for me and makes me miss Joseph all the more. We did really enjoy seeing old friends, though, and I was glad to get some good quality time with the people we love. Holly and I popped over to see some friends on Sunday and below is the picture we were able to catch:

This is what I love about toddlers (which used to drive me more crazy than anything). You just have to grab conversation when you can--in between breaking up toy wars, bringing kids potty, answering questions, etc. It makes quiet conversations at a coffee shop that much more precious and memorable (and rare). I am so grateful that God has blessed me with wonderful friends to go through motherhood with.

This weekend we leave for a cruise with Allen's family. It is our Christmas present from Mimi and Big Daddy. We are really looking forward to it, and Holly is excited about going on a "big boat." So, I think it will be a nice diversion for all of us and we will enjoy not cooking and just relaxing and spending some time together.

Wishing all of you a Merry Christmas and lots of fun family memories. And you better get to Target NOW if you want a princess phone. :)


Anonymous said...

hope ya'll have a great cruise and a merry Christmas!! love Martha and Karl

jody (atlanta) said...

LOVE YOU! Seeing you this weekend was such a blessing. I know the trip and decision to come not easy and as an 'Atlanta friend who misses you' I am so touched you and Allen and Holly came to visit.

Your friendship means the world to me. Seeing our daughters interact together so well as they grow makes me smile and miss Joseph at same time. He always loved making a mess and pulling out every toy so would have been so proud of us all on Sunday (we made BIG MESS).

I am always thinking of you and sending love and prayers to Holly, Allen and you. Have a fab time on the cruise.....I am sure it will be nice distraction and good way to spend this 1st Christmas without Joseph, but with other wonderful loved ones. Eat, drink and relax LOTS!

My heart goes out to you.....we LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! Jody

Jean Joiner said...

Wonderful to see you this weekend, Gil. It was nice catching up with you a bit. Glad you were able to make it, despite the fact that it was as tough or tougher than you imagined. Hope the cruise is nice. I've never been on one. We'll be on land...in Augusta. Love to you and your family! Jean

Anonymous said...

Having been on 2 cruises, I know that you will have a wonderful time. Thanks for posting. I hope you and all of your family a Very Blessed Christmas Season. ~~~A friend in Texas

Lynn said...

Gill, Allen and Holly,
Love you.

Sarah-Jane said...

hey sweet sis. thanks for writing and encouraging us all. I love you so much and aways wish I could take the pain away and bring Joseph back. I wrapped some trains for Deacon tonight and could only think of Joe P. I'm glad to carry on the train tradition in Joe P's honor.

thanks again for writing. I've been checking obsessively lately awaiting this post:)

love you

Sissy Kimbrell said...

You are amazing. We continue to pray for you during this season. I was in the Disney store and broke down in the Cars isle thinking of Joseph and you. I pray you will have a wonderful cruise surrounded by your family. Peace and love to all of you!
Sissy Kimbrell

Amanda said...

Hi there!
Have fun on your cruise!! Please know that I think of you daily and pray for you all! It's so hard to believe this time of year is here already, but enjoy every minute of it! Joseph will be watching over you all!!! Take care and God Bless!

suzanne morris said...

I have thought of you so much since Thanksgiving. Sorry I missed seeing you when you were in Atlanta.
We went on our first cruise this year. There is something to be said for having people eager to serve you food and drink at any time of the day or night. You know how when you go to the beach, you still have to cook and clean. Well, on a cruise there is no work to be done. Which cruise line will you be on? Where will you be going?
Since Christmas will never be the same, a cruise is a great way to make this one completely different.
You and your families will be in my thoughts and prayers. Love to you all.

Chloe said...

A Time to Talk
by: Robert Frost

When a friend calls to me from the road
And slows his horse to a meaning walk,
I don't stand still and look around
On all the hills I haven't hoed,
And shout from where I am, What is it?
No, not as there is a time to talk.
I thrust my hoe in the mellow ground,
Blade-end up and five feet tall,
And plod: I go up to the stone wall
For a friendly visit.

Randi said...

I am happy you are going on a cruise. Holly will have a blast.
I think about your dear Joseph every day and probably will do until the day I die.
Gillian, you and your entire family are loved by so many.

Jennifer said...

WK can't wait to get on the big boat with Holly! We are gonna have so much fun!

Q's NEWS said...

I hope your cruise is every bit as peaceful for you and fun for Holly as you deserve it to be. I think it is a wonderful idea and a great diversion. You guys will be in my thoughts and prayers. When will you be back?

Merry Christmas with love to all,

Anonymous said...

We have been thinking of you.
Catherine & family (Tighe)

tiffany c. said...

Thinking of you all so much and praying God gives you peace during this season...

Al and Ruth and Noelle said...

Gillian, you all are in my thoughts and prayers constantly. I'll be praying for you extra hard tomorrow. ~ Ruth

jody (atlanta) said...

Thinking of you and sending you lots of love. Hugs from Atlanta to you and ALL your family. Love, JOdy

Jaime said...

I have read and reread your last few entries over the past month without knowing what to say. I continue to be so sorry for the pain you continue to experience. Alternately, my heart is uplifted over the joys that you mention in the blog.
I continue to pray for you guys. In fact, Gillian you were the first thing on my mind this morning. Much love to you.
Rally on, The Loeffels

Abbie said...

A cruise! what a great idea. Hope it was wonderful and that you made lots of great memories.
Happy new year!