My thoughts

Well, I have procrastinated writing on the blog. I haven't forgotten, and Joseph is not doing badly, and we aren't really that busy. I just don't know what to write. We are thrilled with his progress. He is sleeping well, playing, laughing, resuming normal 3 yr. old activities and generally being his old self again. It is an answer to prayer and a real joy to see. I just have so many mixed emotions and thoughts it is hard to really enjoy this without fear and doubt creeping in. I finally had to have a talk with God about this, about why this is happening, how are we supposed to deal with this, how could he take our precious son? When I have some quiet moments I feel like he brought several verses to mind:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
I realized that God doesn't say you will get what you want in this verse, but that he promises his peace. I think that is enough for me.
Then another verse was:
"I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to take that which I've entrusted unto him against that day."
In this verse I was reminded that we have entrusted Joseph to Jesus, and He will take care of him no matter what the earthly outcome is.
The next verse is more of a story...it's about Jesus's followers asking about a man born blind, and they are wondering, "Whose sin made this man blind?" Well, here is the exact scripture: (John 9)
His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
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Jesus answered, "Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him.
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We have to do the works of the one who sent me while it is day. Night is coming when no one can work.
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While I am in the world, I am the light of the world."
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When he had said this, he spat on the ground and made clay with the saliva, and smeared the clay on his eyes,
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and said to him, "Go wash 3 in the Pool of Siloam" (which means Sent). So he went and washed, and came back able to see.

This one gave me a glimmer of hope.
The last verse is:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."

This verse reminded me not to put too much stock in my own reasoning and predictions (which lately have been pretty pessimistic) or even in others' reasoning or statistics, but to trust that God has the power and wisdom to do what He thinks best for Joseph and for all involved.
I write all this because honestly, Allen and I are sad a lot of the time, worried, heartsick, fearful, etc... my words would probably just make you depressed. But, God is faithful, and his words are true no matter how we are feeling. And they are a lot more hopeful and certain and powerful.
Thank you all for contintuing to pray for us. We will post more pictures soon...Joseph got a stylish new haircut this weekend and had a lot of fun around town so we snapped lots of shots. Oh, and Holly got some new bows to match her red shirts (she has decided that jeans and red shirts are IT). Now tech-unsavvy parents have to figure out how to post them.